The No Killing Larry Smith From Accounting Act of 1993

In the early 1990's, Larry Smith from Accounting was a real asshole, often shoving his good fortune in the faces of others. Despite numerous death threats and murder attempts, Larry Smith from Accounting never understood that his attitude was the cause of the violence that was constantly aimed at him. Because of this, Congress decided that they needed to intervene, despite murder already being illegal.

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Originally titled the Bitch I Don't Give No Fuck Act, the No Killing Larry Smith From Accounting Act of 1993 is the legal embodiment of awesome.

Article I: Volcano Insurance and Satan
Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Oh My God I Can't Believe He's Falling For This Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance SATAN Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance Volcano Insurance. Satan.

Volcano Insurance: Exactly what it sounds like.

Satan: The Adversary shall hereby be in charge of the majority party, lest we actually get shit done around here. Nothing can possible go wrong.

Article II: No Killing Larry Smith From Accounting
Taking into account the knowledge of how big an asshole Larry Smith from Accounting is, any attempt to harm, injure, or kill him is hereby punishable by some serious Clockwork Orange shit.

No Killing Larry Smith From Accounting: Because it just has to be said that many times.

Article III: The Spoils of Democracy
Raises and oral sex for everyone who works here. Except Ted the janitor. That bastard stole my porn.

Raises: Hey, we get to give ourselves raises! Fuck conflict of interest.

Oral Sex: It's not really sex, is it?

Pay Cut for Ted: Seriously man, not cool.

Article IV: The Arts
The Expresidency: Let's renew that sumbitch. It kept the country going during its hardest times.